Savannah is passionate about helping engaged and married couples struggling with trust, communication, sexual intimacy, intimacy anorexia, sexual addiction, and betrayal trauma achieve the healthy, connected, and loving marriage they’ve always dreamed of.
Is 90 Days Really All It Takes?
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If you've been in recovery for a bit, you've most likely come across the 90-day challenge or have seen other coaches or therapists mention 90 days. What is so special about 90 days and is that all it takes? There is truth that it takes about 90 days to change a habit - i.e. beginning a workout routine, waking up at a certain time in the morning, eating healthier, and yes, quitting porn and masturbation. However, 90 days is just the beginning. Being able to be clean for 90 days sets you up to succeed long-term if you choose to do the deeper work that allows you to be clean for 5, 10, 15+ years. This is why, when I see clients, I encourage a minimum of 90 days of working together because you will get the support you need when you need it most so that the foundation is set up correctly. Now, what you don't often hear when people talk about the 90-days it takes to recover or stop watching porn and masturbation is that it takes about 18 - 24 months for your brain to fully rewire. Rewiring means that you're not just stopping the porn and masturbation, it means you're making changes in all areas of your life in those 18-24 months to support a recovery lifestyle that enables you to have long-term success. Yes, those first 90 days are crucial, and if you can hit 90 days, you're off to a great start - but it's just the start. If you want to make it to 90 days and be able to be clean for 5, 10, 15+ years, then you need more than just what got you to those 90 days. That's what I work on with my clients - the deeper, all encompassing, work that will lead to long-term success. If you're ready to be done with the shame, pain, trauma, fighting, and disconnection, then make a firm choice and make a change today. Get the book. Watch the video. Listen to the podcast. Schedule with a professional. To the thing that enables you to succeed. If you've been curious about whether we would be a good fit to work together, then I encourage you to schedule a complimentary meet & greet session where we get to know each other and make sure that working together is the right fit. If not, I refer you to other resources that are better suited for where you're at. If we are a good fit, then we finalize the commitment and we begin sessions as soon as both our schedules allow. I also encourage you to not put this off. We are entering warmer weather and while there are some who will go into denial and think they can handle their first summer or spring in recovery, I usually get an influx of requests at the tail end of summer after a season of ogling and destruction to the relationship, which means we have a lot more work to do because of the damage done during the warmer season. Now, if you're not an Ogler or struggle with visual triggers, I still encourage you to not wait on recovery, because if you begin the work now, when the colder months with holidays hit, those emotional triggers will be much easier to handle with months of recovery and skills built under your belt. I look forward to meeting you (and your partner) if you're ready to make changes so that you can stop further damage and have a higher chance at relational success in your recovery journey! Savvy P.S. if you missed it, here is my interview from the Porn Resiliance Marriage event |
Savvy Esposito
Savannah is passionate about helping engaged and married couples struggling with trust, communication, sexual intimacy, intimacy anorexia, sexual addiction, and betrayal trauma achieve the healthy, connected, and loving marriage they’ve always dreamed of.
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