Savannah is passionate about helping engaged and married couples struggling with trust, communication, sexual intimacy, intimacy anorexia, sexual addiction, and betrayal trauma achieve the healthy, connected, and loving marriage they’ve always dreamed of.
The Truth About Time In Recovery
Time is a funny thing.
We often think we have plenty of it, and act as if it's endless.
But, the unfortunate truth is that many addicts wait years (until their "rock bottom" moment) until they get help … and many betrayed partners submit to the belief that the addict won't change and resign to a disconnected unhealthy marriage.
Often the marriage is about to end, the addict might get fired for using P at work, or their child is the one who brought the addiction to the betrayed partner's attention.
The myth of addicts needing to hit rock bottom is bullshit.
The Rock Bottom Myth allows addicts to continue to remain in denial, and it can disempower the betrayed partner from standing their ground in the beginning to be in a safe, connecting, loving, and healthy marriage.
Now, is it true that many couples hit rock bottom before they reach out for help?
Sadly, yes.
Many will wait until they are almost at the point of no return.... but by then, the value of time is amplified.
Once you wait years for change with nothing happening and then you finally get help the work that originally had to be done is a lot harder with years of resentment, pain, and anger.
So I have one question for you.....
You have one life - how are you going to live it?
Seriously, you have ONE life - and time is not on your side when you remain in denial.
The reality is time is finite.
As you read this sentence, time has passed, and you'll never get it back.
It's gone.
Unfortunately, many make the mistake of counting dollars on "how much will recovery cost" that they miss the point that time is much more valuable than money.
Money comes and goes and is plentiful in the world.
Spending money on recovery is an investment NOT a cost.
Cost implies you lose something.
Investment is a gain.
Recovery is gaining your life back.
So, as you take a hard look at where you are in your life right now, your mindset, your attitude, and beliefs, look at time and money in a new way.
Because each day you're running out the clock on life, on the ability to save your marriage, on the ability to save yourself from further trauma, on the ability to save your family.
No matter your socioeconomic status, time is a great equalizer.
We all have 24 hours in a day.
So, how are you using your time?
Are you stuck in the addiction and betrayal trauma, believing that you're trapped?
Are you actively doing something to get clean and leave addiction and betrayal trauma behind and working towards freedom?
The reality is every day we make thousands of choices, and each choice has a consequence.
Each choice can lead us towards our goals and dreams or it can lead us further down the rabbit hole of self-destruction.
No matter where you are in your journey, you can turn it around, right now, by making a different - a better- choice.
There is no time like today to choose you, because you are your greatest asset.
The more you value, invest, and commit to yourself, the better your return.
Addiction and betrayal trauma don't leave your life by remaining in denial, making excuses, and doing the same old dance.
Addiction and betrayal trauma leave by making different choices - by opening your eyes, accepting the situation, researching, getting resources, and building a recovery team so that you can rebuild yourself, marriage, and family.
***Recovery Opportunity***:
Email me back and let me know how do you plan to spend the rest of your time today, Reader, and why you are choosing those things?
Personally, I'm spending my time with my family, reading a book, and taking time to write you this email, hopefully to inspire you to begin making different choices!
I'm doing those things because:
- I value my family and enjoy spending time with them
- Reading enables me to gain knowledge and skills so that I can continue to grow as a person
- Emailing you, Reader, is important because I want you to know - or at least remind you - that you have the power to change your life.
Best,
Savvy Esposito
P.S. if you truly want to commit to yourself and not waste anymore precious time, I have some coaching spots open. Take a minute to explore my services, and I'd love to see if we are a good fit to work together!
Savvy Esposito
Savannah is passionate about helping engaged and married couples struggling with trust, communication, sexual intimacy, intimacy anorexia, sexual addiction, and betrayal trauma achieve the healthy, connected, and loving marriage they’ve always dreamed of.
As we enter the heart of the Holiday season and we get closer and closer to the New Year, it's important to know that recovery is accessible. Free Recovery Resources ($0/month): Library to check out recovery books (seriously if you have a local library you can check out books, DVDs, Chromebooks, and more! Some of my clients don't have anything in their house outside of a smartphone so knowing you can rent a Chromebook for any technological needs from the library has been helpful to know for...
I 100% believe that recovery is possible for anyone who truly wants to recover. I also know from experience that when someone who wants recovery won't do "the thing" they need to do to recover, recovery halts. "The Thing" can look different depending on your history, addiction trajectory, and current situation. The Most Common Blocks (with Recovery Opportunities because I'm feeling extra generous!) Denial When one or both partners are in denial about something that will block progress....
You've most likely heard the saying, "we all have a choice," before. It's true, every single one of us has a choice. In fact, we make hundreds of choices every single day. From the moment you wake up you make a decision to check your phone or not check your phone as the first thing you do. Small choices each day add up to habits over time. To be successful in recovery means to begin making different choices, consistently, over the long haul. Achieving 7.5 years clean meant Jak had to make...