If you've been in recovery for a bit, you've most likely come across the 90-day challenge or have seen other coaches or therapists mention 90 days. What is so special about 90 days and is that all it takes? There is truth that it takes about 90 days to change a habit - i.e. beginning a workout routine, waking up at a certain time in the morning, eating healthier, and yes, quitting porn and masturbation. However, 90 days is just the beginning. Being able to be clean for 90 days sets you up to...
2 months ago • 2 min read
I 100% believe that recovery is possible for anyone who truly wants to recover. I also know from experience that when someone who wants recovery won't do "the thing" they need to do to recover, recovery halts. "The Thing" can look different depending on your history, addiction trajectory, and current situation. The Most Common Blocks (with Recovery Opportunities because I'm feeling extra generous!) Denial When one or both partners are in denial about something that will block progress....
about 1 year ago • 2 min read
You've most likely heard the saying, "we all have a choice," before. It's true, every single one of us has a choice. In fact, we make hundreds of choices every single day. From the moment you wake up you make a decision to check your phone or not check your phone as the first thing you do. Small choices each day add up to habits over time. To be successful in recovery means to begin making different choices, consistently, over the long haul. Achieving 7.5 years clean meant Jak had to make...
over 1 year ago • 3 min read
With over 7 years clean and continuing our Recovery Lifestyle, we're in a very different place then we were back then. In our early 20's you can bet we spent more on Black Friday... and we didn't make the best financial decisions. Fast forward to 2023? I bought a budget book for cash stuffing since Jak let me know he feels he is better with money when it's physical ($8) and Jak bought a shelving unit for the basement to organize his stuff ($66). That was it. We spent a whopping $74 this year...
over 1 year ago • 6 min read
Hey Reader, As I read this article I thought about you and everyone else in the recovery community. I just knew I had to share this so that you could have a chance to read it and get take aways too! This article is by Jose Briones someone I discovered about 2 years ago now. He has his Youtube Channel where he goes into all the dumbphones on the market. He also wrote a book recently on Digital Minimalism (amazing, btw!) and I'm subscribed to his newsletter and when I read this one, I just knew...
over 1 year ago • 1 min read
I hear a nasty scratch and look at the hardwood floors in horror. Jak looks up at me sheepishly as he stops moving the couch. I take a deep breath in and know that it is just floors and we can always refinish the floors down the line. We lifted the couch and continue to re-arrange it.... 7 different times. We play a game of Tetris to figure out how to fit this couch that has a "cuddler" side to it that Jak fell in love with 4 years ago in a small space. After an hour of furniture Tetris we...
over 1 year ago • 3 min read
Truth takes courage. Truth takes strength. Truth takes acceptance. In recovery, most people know the saying, "you're only as sick as your secrets" and it's true. Addiction is a disease of disconnection. Connection comes from building bonds with someone. How do you begin to get close to someone? By being honest with them - telling them the truth. Lies will only push those you care about away. In Knights & Warriors, your ability to be honest with yourself, your coaches, and your partner are...
almost 2 years ago • 1 min read
The most important question in recovery,Reader, is do you believe that you can recover? The success stories I know of - from clients and others - are those who truly believe and don't give up when the going gets tough. So, as the recovering addict, do you believe you can recover, long-term? As the betrayed partner, do you believe your recovering addicted partner can recover, long-term? Do either of you believe that the relationship/marriage can recover? Where do you stand in terms of your...
almost 2 years ago • 1 min read
Smack. My head hurt and everything was spinning. I knew moshing was a bad idea, but nope, my best friends all thought it would be great if I joined them. I admit I wanted to "fit in" with my punk friends and be "cool," but I underestimated the risks of looking cool. I tried to focus as the live punk music blared in my ears while people continued moshing all around me. I got bumped back and forth, not helping my dizziness. One guy, who was interested in me who saw me get hit in the head by...
almost 2 years ago • 4 min read